If you follow me on Facebook, you may have noticed
more recent posts referring to missing being romanced by my husband. I have had to really take this to the
Lord. I have had to lay these feelings
at the foot of the Cross. Of course
after the death of one’s spouse, or even a breakup or divorce—you’re most
likely going to miss the romantic sparks.
The sweet surprises, love notes, flowers, the whispering's of “I Love
you”… whatever it is that defined romantic gestures in your relationship. I know it’s normal. I know this is a part of grief I have to walk
through. But I also know my
personality. I know if I dwell on this
part of my life being lost along with my husband it can create a dark pool of
self-pity. It can create a selfish
monster who says, “I deserve that in my life”.
That selfish monster would not make wise decisions. I don’t have time to not be wise. Neither do you. Can I get an Amen?
Let’s take a moment and really think about our
society—All of these dating apps, dozens and dozens of Reality shows designed
for finding love, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Blind Date, Married at First
Site, Love Connection, Bachelor in Paradise… The list can go on and on. There is nothing wrong with yearning for
love, and seeking love, or watching people go out on a limb to find it—I admit
I watch a few of these shows myself.
They can be quite entertaining.
And yes, some really do find love at the end of the show.
But what if these individuals focused more on an
eternal romance rather than an earthly one?
I bet their perspective and satisfactory levels in life would sky
rocket.
Through my current stage of grief I can feel the
Lord prompting me to dissect my own heart.
My relationship with him is designed to fulfill ALL
my emptiness and longings. “Lord be
enough for me,” I pray daily. Psalm
107:9 says, “For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills
with good things.” Those aren’t just
nice words strung together to make a pretty sentence. It is TRUTH.
He satisfies,
He fills.
Jesus wants every area of our heart and soul. He wants to be the One who fills us. All other fillings will fade away. Even the great loves of our earthly life. People will let us down and disappoint
us. We will let people down and
disappoint them. Death parts earthly
love. Death will never ever part the
eternal love of Jesus.
We live in such a dissatisfied culture and
generation. We seem to always be
striving for more. And then when we
obtain that ‘more’. Guess, what? We want even more. Singles seem to be in a downward depression
because they want to be married. Married
folks aren’t appreciating their spouses and wish they were single. It’s a never-ending battle of unsatisfactory
circumstances from our fleshly perspective.
Here is some earth-shattering, life changing news—We
have the answer to a more than satisfactory life.
His name is Jesus. And He
literally saves souls. He wants to
romance you to depths that your human mind cannot imagine. He wants to have an intimate relationship
with you. Not a religious one, an
intimate one. This is the place I am at
in my walk with the Lord. I have walked
with Him since I was a child. But there
is something about this season of grief that has opened my eyes to new realms
of who God really is. During my marriage
I faced seasons of loneliness, and disappointment—as did my husband. I was a difficult person to be married to,
especially in our first year. Nothing
satisfied me. I wished I knew then what
I know now. The more you allow the Lord
to work in you, the more you want to LOVE others with a passion. Even when life seems to be turned upside
down, we can react in love because of the love of Christ living inside us.
When I get stuck in my selfish, fleshly mind, I
begin to fear my future. I begin to pity
my title of widow, and my daughter’s title of fatherless. I become angry. I am overcome with deep sorrow. I yearn for my husband’s strong arms around
me in the middle of a long grief filled sleepless night. But the Lord is drawing my heart to Him in a
way that would never be without facing this dreaded earthly pain. He is bringing my heart, mind and spirit to
focus eternally. It’s not about what I
can see in front of me. It is about the
unseen, for the unseen things are the eternal things.
He is bringing me to an Eternal Romance with
Him.
It is ironic how such dark, bleak, tragedy can
change you to the core for the better.
Christ uses life altering phenomenon’s to draw us nearer to Him when we
are at our lowest points. If we
surrender through the pain and darkness, He will lift us up. He will set our feet on the rock of His
foundation, on His steadfast love.
In the first weeks following my husband’s death—all
I could do spiritually was cry out “I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my
God.” I had no other words to pray.
Every great love story begins with
trust. It’s no different with the love
story of our Savior. I know my heart
being drawn to the eternal romance of Christ began when I surrendered. When I put all of my trust into Him. Not some of my trust—but all of it. (I have to do this daily) I had a revelation that my life is not my
own. Our earthly lives are but a blink
of an eye— however our eternal lives are just that… eternal. Forever, and then forevermore.
Realistically, I am young—one day, Lord willing, I
hope to be re-married. But my focus is
not on an earthly love. My desires, my
heart, my yearnings are on an eternal love.
An Eternal Romance with my Savior.
Everything else falls into place after that.
“For this light momentary affliction is preparing
for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the
things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For things that are seen are transient, but
the things that are unseen are eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:17-18.
“You make known to me the path of life; in your
presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures
forevermore.” Psalm 16:11.
I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God.
Comments
Post a Comment