What is the first thing that you think of when you think of the
Fourth of July? Me… Freedom. I know I’m a little late, but I feel inspired!
July 4th has an extra special meaning to me
now—It was the day I met my Husband… Yep… Last year on July 4th… We
didn’t really waste any time as we were married in 3 and half months. I’ve
always been told- that you will know that you know, especially when it’s
God ordained. The following is an exert from the manuscript I am writing—and
hoping to be published as my first book soon! It is my testimony and how God
took me out of my muddied pit and set me up on the rock!
PART II
What Does Freedom Mean
To You?
“How will you
know?” I asked. My mom turned to me with such certainty, “You will just know
that you know”, she said. I could not fathom this idea- this notion of love
being so simple and wrapped up in one tiny sentence. ‘You will just know that
you know?’ All I knew was I had clung to Jesus for dear life every day, every
second the past two years. I was fearful of the one thing my heart desired
second to Jesus—Love. God IS Love, but we are created to interact, fellowship
and love one another. I had never experienced a godly love or even a fraction
of a healthy love at all (romantically). After years of being in a worldly
relationship, I was scared to love. I did not think I was good enough to
receive love or have the ability to give a healthy love.
But… God! God knows what we need, when we need it, and how we need it.
It was July 4, 2012, I was invited to a Fourth of July BBQ hosted by a couple
from the church I had previously attended. All of my friends were going to be
there. I should have been excited about the invitation. I should have been
thrilled for the social outing. However, I was not. I was making up every
excuse in my head not to attend. I lived too far away, I had to work the next
day, I would get home too late… etc. I had no desire for fellowship. Looking
back on my mindset—I can’t help but detect the devil was trying to keep me in
my own self-made box secluded from the life going on around me, a life that
inevitably was passing me by. Even in my passive state of mind, I pondered what
the enemy could be keeping from me that was so important. My first thought was,
‘I’m sure I’ll know the majority of people attending, it’s not like I’ll be
meeting new friends, besides even if I did meet new potential friends I lived
50 miles away!’ This thought itself made me feel even more isolated. I wanted
God to begin my life here… where I was at. I did not understand why those doors
of ‘divine connections’ still had not opened for me in my new location. I was
torn between the life and friends I knew and loved and the notion that God had
separated me from everything for a reason. I could not decipher whether the
separation was for a time or forever. I suppose during this time I was leaning
on the ‘forever’ choice. I assumed God had other people in His divine plan.
Regardless of my inhibitions, passiveness, and prolonging, I ended up driving
the distance and meeting my friends before the BBQ. My plan was to just spend a
little time with them and shoot out of town before the night’s festivities and
fellowship began.
Deep down I knew I was supposed to go. I felt it in my spirit. I knew I would
be hindering God’s plan somehow if I gave into my rebellious attitude and left
town before the BBQ. You may be thinking this all sounds so menial and silly.
Why is the decision to attend a holiday event such a big deal? Truth is I have
no idea why it was in my mind. Apart of me really did not want to attend. I
wanted to go home and hide in my own secluded little world. The other part of
me felt drawn to attend… I knew I was supposed to be there for some reason or
another. “Why?” I thought. Not being able to answer the question, I could not
shake the feeling that I needed to go with my gut. It helped that my friends
were nearly begging me to go.
Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. It definitely was not in this case. I
gave in, and went… not realizing I was about to alter the course of my little
life.
The ride there with my friends was quite long. We pulled up to a beautiful home
and property filled with vehicles and beautiful people, great food and an
amazing atmosphere. It felt great to be out with my brothers and sisters in
Christ. It was great to see familiar faces from my previous town and church. I
felt right at home. The night flowed along gracefully, peacefully and I was so
glad I had attended. This peacefulness and joy would have been satisfying
enough for me, but God had an even bigger present awaiting me.
The couple hosting the event stood and requested everyone’s attention. “We want
to ask two young men to tell what freedom means to them and give a little of
their testimony.” The crowd was silencing as people made way to their seats
facing the invisible stage set.
I turned my chair as a young man made his way to the front. I had seen him
earlier in the night, not knowing who he was I had passed him by without
acknowledgment. He provided an icebreaker for the crowd, as he got comfortable
with all eyes on him. He began speaking. I remember his words surged with such
authority and a consuming naturalness. Not only were his words catching my
attention, but his demeanor as well. I found myself thinking he was quite
attractive. Let me just stop there—no one had caught my attention so abruptly
in a setting such as this in nearly two years. These notions were
uncharacteristic for me. I became intent on this being—this godly man speaking
in front of me. Speaking with such passion about our Creator as he opened up to
the crowd about the person he used to be, the places he used to dwell, and the
struggles and bondage's the devil had entangled him in. I was mesmerized at how
he spoke of such personal situations with an ease and godly confidence. He was
not ashamed of his past—He knew who held his future.
He spent two years in prison for a six-year sentence after his fourth DWI. He
was a former Marine. He had owned his own business, his own home, and land. He
was living the ‘American Dream’ so to speak. He was living the life of a
worldly man with no deep convictions. He confided that he had actually been
sober for some time before his last DWI. He had made a bad decision that
transformed his life in an instant. A transformation the world would perceive
as a curse, however to him this transformation turned out to be a blessing from
God.
He poured his heart out about how he had regularly attended church prior to
this event, he prayed before every meal, he was following those particular
rules but had no depth in his personal relationship with Jesus.
He was going through the motions of life with no godly tenacity. He was
naturally charismatic and used this charm for the world’s gain and not glorifying
the Kingdom of God. He had no real revelation of the life God had created him
to have…Sound familiar?
He had all this stuff. He had the world at his fingertips, living a life the
world might lavish in. Living that American Dream… but still was not satisfied.
The high seeking consumed him… as it did me. He was not a bad person in his
past, he did not intentionally seek trouble or bad situations, but when you are
not living for God, you are living for the enemy. It is as simple as that.
Psalm 42:2, “My inner self thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I
come and behold the face of God?”
‘My inner self thirsts for God, for the living God.’ We were made to seek God.
There is something genetically programmed in all of us that subconsciously
seeks for our Creator. We want Him in us, and flowing through us even if we do
not know it. So many people get lost in this world trying to seek a high. So
many people get lost in addictions. These addictions consume them, their lives,
their bodies and their minds… inadvertently taking the place of Jesus. Their
addictions become their God.
According to Foundation For a Drug-Free World, “An estimated 208 million people
internationally consume illegal drugs. In the United States, results from the
2007 National Survey on Drug Use and Health showed
that 19.9 million Americans (or 8% of the population aged 12 or older) used
illegal drugs in the month prior to the survey.
You probably know someone who has been affected by drugs,
directly or indirectly.
The most commonly used—and abused—drug in the US is alcohol. Alcohol-related motor accidents are
the second leading cause of teen death in the United States.
The most commonly used illegal drug is marijuana. According to the United
Nations 2008 World Drug Report, about 3.9% of the world’s population between
the ages of 15 and 64 abuse marijuana.”
These are just a few startling statistics regarding the addictions ingesting
our world.
This beautiful young man standing before me had been one of those statistics in
his past. He was bitten by the devil, he was poisoned with the idea that true
happiness could be found in this world. Through his fiery trial God showed him
that nothing can bring an everlasting joy and peace like falling in love with
Him can. His words were sacred, his testimony was beautiful, he was living
proof that God reaches the most unreachable at the perfect time.
Isaiah 48, 8-11, “Surely you did not hear, Surely you did not know; Surely from
long ago your ear was not opened. For I knew that you would deal very
treacherously, And were called a transgressor from the womb. For My name’s sake
I will defer My anger, And for My praise I will restrain it from you, So that I
do not cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have
tested you in the furnace of affliction. For My own sake, for
My own sake, I will do it; For how should My name be profaned? And I will not
give My glory to another.”
While describing what freedom meant to him, this young man referred to Isaiah
48, 8-11. As he emphasized the verse, “Behold, I have ‘refined’ you, but not as
silver, I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” This hit me hard! I
was emotionally and mentally ‘refined’ for the glory of God, as this man was
refined in all aspects.
He recalled sitting in prison in an oven like atmosphere with the indescribable
Texas heat engulfing him with no refuge. God brought him to this scripture and
his mind was instantly renewed. God was refining him and testing him in his own
furnace of affliction. He vowed to come out a changed man. He did just that. He
walked differently, talked differently, and used his charismatic charm to shine
the light of our Savior every chance he saw fit.
Freedom to him meant not only being free from four walls and a barbed wire
fence, but being free from the hungering bondage's of sin, being free from the
devils grasp of deceit. He was no longer living in deceit. He no longer wanted
or desired to pursue a relationship with the world. Jesus had marked His
territory and was calling this man to Him. God was relentless in His pursuit,
this man was called, and God used this man’s lack of worldly freedom to get his
attention fully on Him. God was creative in knocking his ‘props of life’ out
from under him. I suppose the scenario God used on me was a blessing compared
to his fiery trial.
My eyes never left him, and my ears hung on to every syllable of this man’s
intriguing story of freedom. My attention had been divinely caught…
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the
Lord is, there is freedom."
II Corinthians 3:17
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