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Be a 'Victorious' One


I made a mistake tonight... 
Abby likes to 'unpack' my purse and she was doing so tonight. As I was putting the contents back into my purse I found a jump drive I did not recognize in the zipped side pocket... So I plugged it into my computer... 
It was the video recording of Cody Lusk's Funeral Service. 
I had requested it be recorded due to Abigail being a baby and she may ask to see it one day... A friend’s husband recorded it and she had given it to me several weeks ago and I had safely dropped it into my purse and hadn't thought about it since. 
I had no intentions of watching it.
Once I realized what it was- I was in a trance and began watching. 15 minutes into it I had to turn it off. 
It's as if someone punched me in the gut. This is real. This really happened. He is never coming home to me. It's like your psyche blocks out tragedy. Literally. A million memories flooded me in an instant. Amazing memories, terrible memories (because every marriage has those too). When this happens- I tend to concentrate on the bad ones to ease the pain a little. That sounds cold, but it is my minds strongest defense mechanism.
But tonight all I can remember are the many, many Beautiful times.
I am so grateful for the life lessons The Lord instilled into me during our Marriage. When I think back to our meeting and short courtship and 4.5 years of Marriage- it was ordained. All of it. The beautiful times, and the intense and hard times. All of it was to be. I watched Cody transform more and more into the image of God- I watched him fall a time or two- BUT he ALWAYS got back up and praised our God- That is a Successful Life. He never gave up. He did everything BIG. He Loved so Big. He exuded Life. I vow to Love Big all the days of my Life on this earth. I vow to always seek the Will of God and to not be afraid to take chances. I vow to continue to Praise my God. I will sing and rejoice of my Husband's Freedom in Glory.
I had a great friend text me last night with these words, 
"I just randomly thought about Cody... He's in heaven right now!! He's getting to be at the feet of Jesus and running around dancing and smiling and praising!"
It is a Beautiful reminder of reality. I will say it again…
God is so much bigger than my pain.
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." He said to me: "It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children."
Revelation 21:4-7
My Cody is among those 'Victorious' ones...
I Trust my God. I Trust my God. I Trust my God.


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