I Trust My God...

Photo By Shala Gean  I have found myself saying lately, “This has been the worst year of my life, but has also been the best year of my life.”  How is that possible? January 14, 2017 will forever be a day that divides one section of my life from the woman I was to the woman I am now. The woman I was… was lost that night when the Lord called my husband, Cody into glory.  This has been a year of pure trust in the Lord.  Though as a Christian I should have been living in that trust with the Lord for years now.  But I wasn’t.  Experiencing the disappearance of Cody and going through the gut wrenching 5 days of the search before his body was recovered from the lake… Those 5 days were dark and scary.  Those do not seem sufficient enough words to describe it.  Breathing was agony.  But I’m thankful that his body was recovered.  So many families are not that fortunate when a loved one disappears.  For that I will be forever ...

Though these 6 words are so simple—It Is Well With My Soul—they are the difference between spiritual life and death. Literally. For the last 10.5 months I have been dreading this holiday season. The first holidays without my Cody. When I allow my mind to think too much, my heart feels as if it will palpitate out of my chest. Memories of Cody holding tiny 8-month old baby Abby across his lap as she opened her first Christmas presents invade my mind. The smiles on both of their faces are forever burned in my memories. Never imagining his smile would forever vanish on this earth only 3 weeks later. But… It Is Well With My Soul. No matter the pain, no matter the memories, no matter the grieving times… It Is Well With My Soul. To say those words and mean them, is truly freeing. I have such a pressing in my spirit to share what a good, good Father we have. His love is so real. His faithfulness is never failing. So many people base their trust in God on their circumst...

I leaned my head back against the seat, my face turned toward the small window to my right.  My eyes could not take in the beauty fast enough. They darted to the left, right, up and down.  My heart was pounding so fast.  I turned to my friend and said, “This is as close as I’ll get to heaven on this side of glory.”  The tears welled in the corners of my eyes thinking about my late husband… But they weren’t sad tears.  They were happy tears.  Seeing the beauty of the sky, the clouds the sun setting, the raw artwork of the greatest painter—God. The One who created the Heavens and the earth and all that lay in between.  He painted this sky I was flying in.  I couldn’t help but ponder how much more beautiful Heaven must be.  My tears were caught by the corner of my lips forming a smile out of such awe.  I whispered, ‘it’s a Higher Perspective from here’. For the last several months the Lord has impressed upon me the words ‘Higher Per...

Photo By Shala Gean This picture speaks 1000 words. The water. The stump. The wind. The sky. The sadness. The beauty. The healing.   There is deep healing happening in this photo. A moment can change our lives. On November 14—10 months to the day my husband never came home from the water during a fishing trip—I was on a trip to the Pacific Northwest. We decided to go to Vashon Island. The ferry ride to the island was a quiet one. My friend and I were eager to go to the island, but didn’t quite think it through. Being sensitive in the spirit like she is—she knew I was having trouble being on the water. It was an unspoken silence. But deep down I knew I needed to get to the other side of the water. Arriving to Vashon Island—it was unique and beautiful. We drove miles to Point Robinson Park. As we were walking through the trails of the park—I felt the Lord walking with me. It was a visceral sensation. The trails parted and in front of us was a lighthouse overlooking m...

Photo by Brianne Campos Photography  “But now, this is what the LORD says—He who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”  Isaiah 43:1 Last week I had the honor of speaking at River of Praise Church in Palestine during their revival week.  While praying about what the Lord would have me speak the word fearless kept coming to mind.  Studying scriptures on the Lord commanding us to not fear, I could not get away from Isaiah 43:1.  I love the NLT version above as it uses the word summoned .  The definition of summoned is “to authoritatively or urgently call on someone to be present—especially in a courtroom of law.  You could be summoned as a witness.” It is past tense—meaning The Lord has already summoned us.  We are His.  It is already done.  That alone should make us #fearless .  What are we so afraid of?  The feedba...

Photo Credit: Erik Johansson A diamond in the rough. I’m sure you’ve heard this analogy before. The last several weeks I have had an urge to research the formation process of a diamond…and now I know why. A diamond is a rare gem. A diamond is formed deep within the earth’s mantle at depths plunging to sometimes 118 miles. It is formed with carbon containing minerals that provide the carbon source. These minerals undergo high temperature and pressure to form a diamond in the rough. This growth occurs over periods from 1 billion years to 3.3 billion years. That is a long time to be “in the rough” before the diamond is discovered for its eternal purpose. Which brings me to my next point- the “discovery” process of the diamond in the rough is fascinating to me. I learned that nearly 50% of diamonds come from Africa. The diamonds that emerge to the surface of the earth were forced there by volcanic activity through kimberlite pipes. A kimberlite pipe is a pipe containing a vertica...

Photo By KT Photography “I can’t go anymore,” I thought to myself. I was defeated. The sun was beating on my face, my shoulders, and arms. My feet felt like they were on fire. The sweat poured from my face as if someone had dumped a gallon of warm water on me. Just when my feet were about to stop, I heard… “Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep doing that over and over. Focus on one step at a time… Keep putting one foot in front of the other.” I smiled through my pain. He me made it look so easy. He made it sound so easy. Then I thought, “What if it really is that simple?” I could do that. I could keep putting one foot in front of the other. I turned to my right and watched this man, who I was falling in love with, cheer me on. He wasn’t giving up on me. He wanted me to succeed. He wanted me to become stronger. He was lovingly pushing me to the invisible finish line we had set. My strength rose. My ears tingled listening to his Marine Corps Cadence’s, as he...