I Trust My God...

It never ceases to amaze me how God intricately designs details of our lives, creating a divine moment.  For an Anniversary gift several years ago I gave Cody a book titled ‘Married for Life’, Inspirations From Those Married 50 Years or More.  We loved this book.  If you ever visited our home, you would have seen this book sitting on our coffee table.  We made a diligent effort to read an insert from it daily, usually sitting down for dinner.  We would mute the television and read out of it before eating.  It seemed almost every testimony of marriage we read was for the exact moment we read it (you know how God works).  Needless to say, this book was precious to us.  Now that Cody is no longer here- It will be a cherished book of mine, forever.  It’s no surprise to most, after his passing, I could not stay in our lake house.  While moving a few months ago and unpacking boxes, I came across this book.  I have shared the followin...

God wants every part of who we are.  He wants every part of our heart.  Even the broken parts. Especially the broken parts.  My heart is completely broken.  Again.  And I am not okay.  God is showing me that 'It Is Okay Not To Be Okay'.  On January 9, 2017 I was with a group of women for Bible Study.  Somehow we got on the subject of death and losses ones had faced in life.  I was shocked to hear of the heartache some of these ladies had experienced.  I spoke the words…  “I’ve never experienced a death close to me.”  I will never forget uttering those words.  Five days later, January 14, my world as I knew it, was changed forever.  Who I was as a person would never be the same.   My beautiful family was ripped apart by the disappearance of my Husband.   He went missing while fishing on the lake we lived on.   It took authorities 5 days to recover his drowned body.   Five days of utter silen...

Hi everyone, I am Jessica Lane Lusk. I started this blog 4-years ago, but we all know 'life' happens and I have not posted in a while and have recently updated my blog page. Many of you may know I recently lost my Husband and Father of my 1-year old daughter in a tragic fishing accident this past January. The last 4-months have been some of the darkest days of my 28-years. But God is good.  He is continuously showing me His glorious way. He is bringing me to a place of peace- That peace that surpasses all understanding really does exist. He meets us in the valley and sets us on the rock. All He asks is for us to Trust Him... Hence the new title of my Blog, I Trust My God...  I find myself- sometimes dozens of times a day repeating over and over, I Trust My God, I Trust My God, I Trust My God. It helps me. The Holy Spirit is welcomed into my atmosphere when those words are released from my lips.  If you know me, you know that I have had a passion for...

Some days are so hard.   Hard doesn't even come close to describing the emptiness in my heart and spirit in dark moments. Life was a roller coaster with you. Literally. Life was spontaneous. You taught me to 'Live in the Moment'. I'm so thankful you showed me the preciousness of Life. You knew what it was like to be stripped down to nothing and to praise God anyway. There was a point in your life when you lost everything and yet you were thankful for everything at the same time. You showed me this huge life concept. To Praise Him in a palace or a prison.   Some moments my mind feels like a prison. But I think of all the Lord brought us through and the bigger picture of Life and Eternity and I can't contain my Praise.   The other day I closed my eyes and I was trying to remember your smell, your touch, your lips, you seemed so far away. It was like a punch in my gut, over and over again.   But then you come back to me so swiftly. I can hear your laug...

I made a mistake tonight...  Abby likes to 'unpack' my purse and she was doing so tonight. As I was putting the contents back into my purse I found a jump drive I did not recognize in the zipped side pocket... So I plugged it into my computer...   It was the video recording of Cody Lusk' s Funeral Service.   I had requested it be recorded due to Abigail being a baby and she may ask to see it one day... A friend’s husband recorded it and she had given it to me several weeks ago and   I had safely dropped it into my purse and hadn't thought about it since.   I had no intentions of watching it. Once I realized what it was- I was in a trance and began watching. 15 minutes into it I had to turn it off.   It's as if someone punched me in the gut. This is real. This really happened. He is never coming home to me. It's like your psyche blocks out tragedy. Literally. A million memories flooded me in an instant. Amazing memories, terrible memories (becau...

This picture speaks a thousand words to me.   On a more recent 'bad' night... I was transparent in my cries to God. And questioning the hurt and devastation in my life. With the more time that passes, it's getting easier to wake up and seize the day. However, the reality of never getting to be in my husband’s arms again or hear his beautiful laugh can bring me to my knees in an instant.   This particular night Abby had been inconsolable while in pain from teething... I was at a loss, fe lt defeated... And angry. No one sets out in life to be a single parent. I began to just cry along with Abby. Realizing in this moment how much I took having a Life Partner and Husband for granted. I angrily cried out to God- I did everything right. I followed 'the rules'. Waiting until marriage to start a family,   Cody   and I had a life plan, we were good people, why, why? Why am I now a single mother? I can't do this alone... All these thoughts running through my ...

 “Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name.” Psalm 86:11 … ‘Unite my heart to fear Your name”, what a profound statement David writes in this Psalm. God has been bringing me back to the ‘fear of the Lord’. I grew up never understanding God’s grace and mercy… The past year, I have been ministered too in a very different and quite refreshing way that elaborates nothing but ‘truth’ and the gospel while dispersing the revelation of grace and mercy. I am in utter thankfulness for this in my life. I no longer am walking around in darkness and carrying a suitcase full of failures, secret sins, fears, and worldly baggage… The grace and mercy the Lord lavishes us with takes that away if we let Him. I have finally allowed God to be ‘God’ in my life—if that makes any sense. So with that being said… My heart has been gripped with an urgency of: Where is the fear of the Lord? So many people seemed to be confused with the stateme...