I walked quickly behind the frustrated cries of my
daughter. I could see her ahead of me standing at a chain linked fence. Her
little fingers intertwined through the fence with clinched fists. Her feet
jumped up and down in an exasperated impatience. She began shaking the fence. I
looked upon her with a half laugh, as well as awe of the strength that flooded
out of her two year old body. She kept looking at me with confusion
and almost anger. Then her hands pointed in front of her. What lay ahead
was a kingdom for a toddler. A playground with many adventures awaited just
beyond the fence. Just beyond her reach.
“Baby girl, we don’t have to climb over this high
fence to get to the playground. Cease your striving,” I said calmly making my
way to her.
As soon as those words left my mouth, I stopped
walking. “Cease Striving”, I repeated. I turned to my friend who was next to me
and I remembered those same words have been spoken over me these last few
weeks.
Cease Striving.
What my daughter couldn’t see because of her limited
view of the “bigger picture” was if she just continued walking straight, we
would enter into an opening of the playground. All she saw was the playground
but couldn’t get over the barrier. But she wasn’t supposed to ‘strive’ to get
over the barrier—in this case being the chained linked fence. She just had to walk a little further and not get distracted by the sight of her hearts desire. She was supposed
to trust me to lead her in the correct way to go, a way that
caused no harm to her, or unnecessary striving. She was to just simply trust me.
In that moment, I felt the Lord pressing upon my spirit to cease striving in certain situations in my life. All I see is what is
right in front of me. It’s a narrow view. I see something that I want, but
there is this barrier in front of it and I want to climb the barrier. I want to
kick it down. I want to scream. I want to jump up and down until God removes the
barrier. I am spiritually throwing a temper tantrum. (Please tell me I’m not the
only one who does this from time to time.)
When I pray… I hear the words ‘Cease Striving’. It’s
not my barrier to kick down. God sees all. He has a view of the full picture. I
pray, “Lord Your will be done, not mine. Let Your will be done on earth as it
is in Heaven.” But then I find myself striving in my own power to carry my
burdens. I find myself so broken and on the verge of an emotional rage and deep sadness
because life hasn’t gone the way I wanted. I feel knocked back on so many
levels in life and I’m striving to regain what I think I need to survive.
Reality check—Christ is the ONLY thing needed for survival on this side of
heaven.
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still, and know that I am God…”
‘Be still’ is also translated into ‘cease striving’. The phrase ‘cease striving’
in Hebrew actually means “let your hands drop”, “let go”, or “relax”. I believe
the Lord will not immerse Himself into a difficult situation in our lives until
we let go of it.
Are you holding onto something the Lord is telling
you to let go of? Maybe it’s something that has actually created great joy in
your life. But now He’s asking you to let go of it. Some of us even hold onto things that have caused immeasurable pain and grief, but it has become so familiar to us, that we don't want to let go of it for fear of change.
My flesh cannot understand the letting go of
something good, especially after walking through a season of great loss. My
flesh doesn’t want to let go of anything resembling goodness. It scares me. But
then I hear the Holy Spirit whisper, “Trust me, Jess…For I know the plans I
have for you…plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope
and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
This scripture tells us that the Lord does have a
plan for each of our lives. And it is a good plan. But it gives no indication
of what that plan actually is. I don’t know about you, but I am a planner. I
have never been ‘a go with the flow’ kind of gal. My flesh screams in agony
when my plans are disrupted, when I
feel a loss of control. I literally can have an emotional meltdown inside.
Trusting God is one of the HARDEST tasks in my walk with Him. Lately I feel as
if I’m fumbling around in the dark searching for a light switch and there is NO
light switch, only the Lord whispering to keep putting one foot in front of the
other and follow Him.
I love the words of Dwight L. Moody, “Let God have
your life; He can do more with it than you can.”
I know I have to follow Him. In my mind there is no
other option. I may sit down in a slumber and squall for a minute or two, or a
week or two, or sometimes even a month or two… but eventually I know I will
always get back up and walk toward that still small voice wooing me to Him once
again. I’m so thankful He never leaves or forsakes us in our midnight hour.
Just like me lovingly taking my daughters hand to
lead her in the way that she should go to achieve her heart’s desire (getting
to the playground), The Lord never stops leading us in the way that we should
go.
I no longer want to strive at this fence with
clenched fists.
I don’t want to strive in my own power to heal from
my past. I don’t want to keep touching my open wounds, hurting them even more.
The Lord is my healer, my helper, my calm in the middle of a storm.
My desire is to cease striving.
C.S. Lewis wrote, “Getting over a painful experience
is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to
move forward.”
Cease Striving. Let your hands drop.
I Trust my God, I Trust my God, I Trust my God.
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